“I meant what I said and I said what I meant, an elephant’s faithful one hundred percent!”

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Even my wife has started "texting".
Yes it has been a challenge but she is getting it.
With more and more "seniors" getting into the texting game it's time we had our own list of texting codes, so that everyone will know what we are talking about.

ATD: At The Doctor
BFF: Best Friend Fell
WTF: Why The Face
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FWTCW: Forgot Where The Car Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On
LMDO: Laughing MY Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
SGGP: Sorry Gotta Go Poop
OMG: Oh My Gas!
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To
WTP: Where's The Prunes
GGLKI: Gotta Go Laxative Kicking In

OLD, BUT NOT DEAD YET

When I was a child I counted my birthdays by months not years. To a kid your life revolves around birthdays and Christmas. The time span between each is counted in long weeks. Every kid knows how old they are right down to the month.
The years go flying by when you get older. The older you get the faster time travels.
Well now I'm old. Not dead yet mind you. But so much older.

When I was born (an official baby boomer) Harry Truman was in the white house. George Albert Smith was president of the LDS church.
A gallon of gas was $.20. Wow! A six pack of coke was $.37, of course they were 6 oz bottles. A postage stamp cost a whole $.03, and that was the only choice you had of getting a message cross country. No e-mail yet.
And speaking of e-mail, 1951 was the year that the first commercial computer was sold. The UNIVAC 1. The massive computer was 8 feet high, 7-1/2 feet wide and 14-1/2 feet long. 46 machines were built, for about $1 million each.

I don't count birthdays in years anymore but in rounded decades. I'm hoping I still have a few years left. I come from a line of long livers. My grandparents all lived into their 80's and my paternal grandmother had a couple of siblings that lived into their 90's. I try to take care of myself. I don't get enough exercise, I kind of watch what I eat. But some things are just worth the trouble.

"I'm 93 years old, do you really think a pat of butter is going to shorten my life"
(Jacob Jankowski, "Water for Elephants")

I DON'T THINK SO

THOUGHTS ON POLYGAMY

I have recently been re-reading one of Mark Twain's great works "Roughing It"
I love reading Mark Twain, especially his works of "non-fiction" using the term lightly, since he himself admitted to "fits of exaggeration at times". But that being said I love his sarcastic sense of humor and unique powers of observation about almost everything American.
while I was reading, it brought a smile to my face to read his account of his two day stay in Salt Lake City. and especially his comments on polygamy. they are now quoted as he wrote them.

Our stay in Salt Lake City amounted to only two days, and therefore we had no time to make the customary inquisition into the workings of polygamy and get up the usual statistics and deductions preparatory to calling attention of the nation at large one more to the matter.

I had the will to do it. With the gushing self-sufficiency of youth I was feverish to plunge in headlong and achieve a great reform here—until I saw the Mormon women. Then I was touched. My heart was wiser than my head. It warmed toward these poor ungainly and pathetically “homely” creatures, and as I turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes, I said, “No—the man that marries one of them has done an act of Christian charity which entitles him to the kindly applause of mankind, not their harsh censure--and the man that marries sixty of them has done a deed of open-handed generosity so sublime that the nations should stand uncovered in his presence and worship in silence.”

This is a cartoon that was published in a national magazine at the time of Brigham Young's death. depicting, with some humor, his mourning wives.

I HATE FEBRUARY

I really hate February. Every February I become engrossed with bitterness and anger for no reason. All day, everything anyone says irritates me. It doesn't matter what they say, just the fact that they're talking, I want to hammer a nail through their tongue, and into the floor!

There are no holidays looming to look forward to, except those stupid days that only bankers and government workers get to take off.

Winter has strung on way too long. All the snow that looked so festive in December is now just hiding in all the dark places, covered with pollution that came from who knows where. And as the snow melts it exposes that ugly brown sludge underneath that is supposed to be GRASS, or flowers or something else that is ALIVE!

All month, I can't bring myself to be motivated to do anything but be miserable. Every event annoys me. Even if it's completely insignificant and irrelevant to my life, I just want to die, or at least just sleep until spring comes.

I'm certain that a big part of my sub-suicidal animosity this month is due to the weather. December we marvel and smile as new snow falls. January is cold and snowy, but at least it has character. February is crap. Even the original calendar makers, Mayans or Greeks or who ever they were, they knew that February sucked, that's why it only has 28 days which are mostly 28 days of monochromatic drab.

February is so uninteresting, dull, boring, tedious, monotonous, dry, dreary; unexciting, unimaginative, uninspiring, insipid, lackluster, flat, stale, wishy-washy, colorless; lame, tired, sterile, anemic, barren, tame; middle-of-the-road, run-of-the-mill, mediocre, nondescript, characterless, mundane, unremarkable, humdrum. . . . . . it even pisses of ground hogs.

WHO IS THAT UNKNOWN CHILD

Yes, I love my Mac.
iPhoto has a great feature that cycles through your photos and identifies faces. the more you use it the better it gets. Well each time it cycles through my pictures it stops on this pair of eyes and wants me to confirm his/her identity (far right). Well try as I must I have not been able to figure out which one of my grandchildren is nicknamed "bolt eyes" Maybe I'll give it a name and see if I can find any more of him/her

MULTIPLE ZANES

I took one of my grandsons on a private photo shoot, took 94 pictures. Then I spent an hour or so with Photoshop and created "Multiple Zanes". Here is the finished project.

ENDURE TO THE END

This wouldn't be such a bad place to work.............if I wasn't in the basement!

A heartfelt thanks.
At the end of five years of service to the great people of the Picket Lane Ward, it's time to say “THANK YOU”
(actually it was 5 years, 1 month and 1 week, but who is counting).
What a pleasure it has been to serve as your bishop.
I have so many great memories I could not hope to share them all. Some are so close to my heart that they could not and should not be shared.
Together we have seen unprecedented growth. Five years ago the Picket Lane Ward consisted of everything in Stansbury Park that was South of Village Blvd. the same area is now the better part of three different wards. Together we watched as our new Stake center grew out of the dust of old farm land, and had the blessings of being the first ward to occupy the new facility.
We have seen countless babies come into the world, and bless the lives of our families.
I have officiated at five weddings, uncounted baptisms and one funeral.
We have seen couples united for time and eternity, children sealed to their parents to create eternal families. We have seen miracles come to a pass through Priesthood blessings, and the united faith of families and ward members.
We have had four missionaries serve with honor. As I ponder all that has taken place over the last five years, I take no personal credit for any of these wonderful happenings, they are result of a ward family working together to serve the Lord and to build one another.
We have seen lives changed and testimonies strengthened.
I want to say thanks to everyone that has served in any capacity within the ward, this work is definitely not a one man job. It takes the dedication of everyone serving and working together to make the work go forth.
I would like to thank personally those that have served with me in the bishopric as we have moved along together.Ward Clerks:
Jode Allen, Chad Jarvis, Jeremy Blaine and Devon Ransom
Executive Secretaries:
Nate Bready and Doug Merrell
Counselors:
Adam Smith, Quinton Selin, Dar Smith, Chad Jarvis and Rob Tripp
Eleven of the greatest men I have ever had the privilege of working with.
Thanks to everyone who has given service to help your fellow ward members. I cannot hope to express my feelings in an adequate fashion, only to say I love you all and will continue to love and pray for all.
Thanks for the memories.