NO THANKS, JUST LOOKING

Today I saw Borin' Orin Hatch (R) at Walmart, in Salt Lake. Yes Walmart. He was just walking around the store pushing an empty shopping cart. Not really shopping just walking around the store pushing an empty cart. I tried to get a picture of him so I could post him on "peopleofwalmart.com" but every time I got out the cell phone he would give me the evil eye, so I gave up. I thought about taking a picture from the back so he wouldn't catch me, but from the back side Orin (R) looks just like any other pervert in a trench coat.
After a while he returned the cart to the front of the store and left. Did not buy anything, just left.
The real question about this incident is; What the Heck was Orin Hatch (R) doing at Walmart.
A. Shoplifting.
B. Just hoping to be seen so people would think that he actually shops at Walmart, and is just a regular guy. (because regular guys always wear pressed trench coats and face makeup)
C. Looking for a good deal on health care, and wanted to check out the $4 drug deal.
D. As usual he didn't have a clue what was going on and was hoping to meet Ted Kennedy (D) for lunch. Sorry no Christmas miracle here, Ted is still dead.

And by the way. If he was trying to get attention it failed. Most people were ignoring him, just like they do everybody else at Walmart.

POLITICALLY CORRECT HO, HO, HOOEY

Enough already of "Happy Holidays" I will continue to wish every one I see a "MERRY CHRISTMAS" because that's what it is, and that's what I want to do. It is Christmas. A celebration of one of the greatest events in human history. This whole being politically correct about everything has gone too far. Yes we shouldn't call people hurtful names or use ethnic slurs. In the words of the great Michael Scott "You don't call retarded people retards". But when being politically correct forces us to withhold wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, just to keep from offending someone, it has really gone too far.

If being politically correct goes on much longer we will soon be hearing songs about "Frosty the Person of Snow" and "Rudolph the Nasally Empowered Reindeer"
And your children cannot make snow angels anymore because this obvious display of religion might make someone feel uncomfortable. I think Santa's reindeer are even using aliases now, because they are so embarrassed.

I love almost everything about Christmas. The music, the food, the sights and sounds. The snow, and the presents, the happy children and all that goes with it. What a glorious time of year to be alive.
This CHRISTMAS when you hang your stockings next your alternative heat source, and the children are tucked in their beds, with visions of lentils and warm whole-grain breads. Remember to put aside all political correctness, at least long enough to wish everyone a.....

Merry Christmas.
As we celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace,
the King of Kings.

ALIEN LANDING STRIP

This is a picture of an ancient alien landing strip. It was built billions of years ago by a civilization of giant brine shrimp that came from another galaxy to inhabit this part of our planet. They were mistaken in their theory that the entire earth had the same brinish atmosphere that surrounds the Great Salt Lake. Thankfully for us, they were wrong.

Yes the brine shrimp are still here, they are the only living thing that survives in the Great Salt Lake. However in a very strange phenomenon of reverse evolution, never imagined by Darwin, the shrimp have actually gotten much smaller than they were when they first arrived eons ago.....

.............Actually
I think this is all that's left of the grand boardwalk of the old Saltair resort, the boardwalk ran from the railroad spur out to the resort. It looks like rocks neatly lined up but is actually the salt encrusted wood pylons. It is hard to believe visiting the Lake today that there was ever anything this grand that ever existed out there.
In the photo it looks like the ground is all dried and cracked mud, but when we walked out here the top layer was dry and underneath was still muddy so it gave you the sensation of walking on thick foam rubber.

FAMILY CHRISTMAS PARTY

Every year as part of our family Christmas party we do the annual exchange of "dweebie" gifts, there really just white elephants but years ago when Tracey was a kid he dubbed them "dweebies" and they have been that ever since.
This was my contribution this year the "joker baby", I had a vision about it on the way to work one day, stopped at DI and got a doll for $1.00, add a little paint and presto, Dweebie. It kind of creeped Drake out a bit when he saw it (Michelle was the recipient).
Of course we had the return of the fruit cake that has been back every year for about 4 years now.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

What does that mean? "corn maze for blondes" Well just for the blondes reading this, let me explain how a corn maze works. So you take a huge field of corn and cut pathways with lots of turns and twists and it creates a maze,
if you follow the maze and make all the correct turns you make it to the middle of the maze or corn field.
This "corn maze for blondes" has no paths all you have to do is look out into the field and walk to the lone corn stock.
Now I know that there are still a few true blondes out there that look at this picture and say.........
Ahhhhhh, I don't get it?

HOT DOGS

Do you ever get a craving for one of those crappy hot dogs from the wienerschnitzel? Even though Costco or Sam's Club has better dogs at a cheaper price. Sometimes there is nothing like a good hot dog to satisfy the carnivore in all of us.
This is the funniest commercial I have seen for a long time. But we will probably not be seeing it anytime soon on US Television.
This commercial alone makes me want to run down and get one of those wiener guys to put on the antennae of my car!!

DANG

Dang......... just after I finally decide on a new car, along comes something better. If I had only waited.

BLIND SERVICE PROJECT

So this may be one of those "you had to be there" stories but last night when I was telling the family it sure did seem funny.
We have a blind guy in our neighborhood. At least he is legally blind, so he can see shadows etc.
Well one day last week he drove his riding lawn mower down the street and around the corner to mow the lawn of a single lady that needed help. Then when he finished he is driving back home and a policeman drives by and thinks, "hey that guy looks like he's blind" so said blind man gets pulled over on his lawnmower by the local cops and questioned about the sanity of driving around blind on a lawnmower. After all you could run over an animal and not even know it.
A couple of years ago I saw this same guy riding a bike down the street with his white cane setting across the handlebars of the bike.

ELEPHANT STEW

I found this great recipe I thought everyone would like.

Ingredients

1 Elephant
10 Warthog
100 lbs. tomatoes
half ton potatoes
10 lbs. salt
1 wheelbarrow onions (heaped)
10 quarts vinegar
20 quarts chutney
4 whole chickens

Hunt the elephant, warthog and chickens. Cut elephant into edible chunks, (will take about a month). Boil the warthog with other ingredients (except chickens) till nice and juicy. Now boil elephant chunks over high flames till tender. (will take about 4 weeks) and add everything together. Boil for another 5 to 7 days.

Serve over your favorite rice.

about 3,523 servings

Note: If extra guests arrive unexpectedly you can toss in a couple of rabbits, but be careful with this one because a lot of people do not like hare in their stew.

BE POSITIVE.....

I need to blog something just so Creed's goofy face is not the first thing you see when you log on...

DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP. . . . . .
IT IS ONLY MY STRONG NEGATIVE ATTITUDE THAT KEEPS ME GOING!

Ashleigh Brilliant